Under the Median: 4 REASONS I Never Allowed My Kids to Say, "WE ARE POOR!"

Every parent has seen that look on their child's face when they must say "No" to a request for a toy, an outing, or pretty much anything else which costs money. I've experienced it a million times. We all want to give our children wonderful memories. It's no wonder that our minds get muddled with emotions and we forget that having money does not equate with happiness.

If we aren't careful, our children will begin repeating the phrase, "We are poor". I have heard it come out of my boys' mouths - once or twice. However, it was short-lived. Let me tell you why.

I never allowed my kids to say, "We are poor."

Raising kids on a shoestring budget is not a piece of cake. It's often a series of tough decisions and a whole lot of counting nickels and dimes. But, being "poor" is something that I never allowed in my home. Here's why.

1. The word "poor" sets you up for accepting the status quo.

Before we go any further, I will admit it. Yes, if you are living and raising children on a minimum wage job, for you, life is an every day reality of trying to figure out how to pay rent and feed the kids all at the same time. I understand.

However, it is also true that what you believe affects your actions. If you believe that you will get sugar diabetes because everyone in your family has this disease, then it makes being overweight and stuffing yourself with white flour carbs and sugar laden treats all the easier to continue to do. But, if you understand that your behavior can make a difference in your future, then your life can have a whole new trajectory.

It's the same way with money.

If you believe that you must rely on credit cards to pay your bills, then you will.

If you believe that you must take out car loans, then you will.

If you believe that you can never be debt free, then you won't.

So, instead, I want you to:

Be careful about your self-talk.
Be careful who and what you allow to impact your mindset and your daily decisions.
Be careful who you allow to "speak into your life".
Be sure that you have clear goals and that you are working toward them every day.

Slow and steady does win the race. But, if you believe that you can't finish, then you won't begin the race at all.

2. The word "poor" does not empower.

We are all about speaking life-giving words around here. We don't allow for a "poor pity me" attitude. We acknowledge our shortcomings, faults, imperfections, and then we construct a plan to move forward.

Let me give you an example.

My oldest son has dysgraphia, resulting in difficulties with writing and spelling. At the age of 6, he still could not physically write the letters of the alphabet. This is, by the way, the reason we chose to homeschool. One day he completed a paper for me and it was nearly illegible. Clearly, he had completed a writing assignment in about 5 minutes, which should have taken him about 30 minutes.

"James, you can do better than this," I said, handing it back to him.

He looked at me as though I had clearly forgotten his sad state in life and replied, "Mom, I have a disability."

My "mama radar" sensed a learning moment was at hand. "You may or may not have a disability. But, what you do have is a responsibility to figure out tactics to deal with it. Together, we will create a plan for you to be an overcomer. Life throws us all kinds of challenges and you will not use this as an excuse for sloppy work."

We talked about several ideas for insuring that his spelling was correct and his letters were properly formed and uniform. He completed the paper a second time. His second attempt was much better.

For the record, James received multiple college scholarships. His current college GPA sits at nearly 3.95 and he will graduate debt-free from a small, private Christian university next May. As an added bonus, he actually has decent handwriting now.

So, what does this have to do with finances? Plenty! If you walk around all day in a haze of gloom, repeating to yourself that you are poor, that self-talk with wind up sending you exactly where you really don't want to go - to the "poor house."

Instead, use words that empower.

Begin a sentence with, "I am" and then add some of these:

Transforming
Thriving
Abundantly blessed
Meeting goals
Changing my future
Able to bless others
Confident
Working my financial plan
Able to save money
Able to spend less
Loved
Peaceful
Accomplishing goals
Thankful

3. The word "poor" allows you to ignore the needy.

Before I had children, I worked full-time as a production manager at a local Christian radio station. I remember vividly, being eight months pregnant and producing a program for a local rescue mission. As the host gave a list of items that they needed (shampoo, soap, razors, etc.), I cried. I really felt that when I quit work to stay home with my children, that we would not even have enough money to purchase an extra bottle of shampoo to give to the truly needy.

As I sat, pushing buttons in that glassed-in partition, I prayed, "Lord, you know that I'm about to quit this job and cut our income in half. I don't care if we don't have much money. But, I'm asking one thing. Please never put me in a position that I can't give when you tell me to give."

God answered my prayer. My heart was to be able to give to others and He has allowed me to continue being able to do just that. Sometimes, as I doing my weekly bulk cooking, I would feel the Holy Spirit urging me to add extra veggies to the soup pot and bake a dozen extra rolls. Suddenly a neighbor or friend would get sick and need the healing power that fresh, whole foods brings. I would gather the children together and we would pray over that food, thanking God for allowing us to bless others in His name.

No matter how much money you have, you can be of service and help meet the needs of others.

4. The word "poor" is more about what you don't have, than what you do have.

In our first home, our kitchen floor had problems. It looked like someone had thrown handfuls of confetti up into the air and let them land on a dark, gray background. It was actually looked much as it had in 1930, the year that linoleum was laid and the house was built. It had also worn like steel. The problem was, the floor physically dipped in some areas, because of underlying imperfections, creating a kind of wavy effect by the back door.

I remember countless times scrubbing that kitchen floors on my hands and knees and telling my boys, "We may not have the nicest kitchen floor in town, but it will be clean!"

Saying those simple words out loud always set off a chain reaction for me. I began to look around my kitchen.

It made me grateful:

that we had a floor to walk on
that we cared enough to clean our floor
that we had a functioning kitchen
that we had food in those cupboards
that we had a loving family to eat at the kitchen table
that we had running water
that we had a working stove

The next time you, or one of your children comes out with the "P" word, remind them that you are not poor! You are rich in love, rich in faith, rich in ideas, rich in energy, and rich in all the things that count , but never poor.