“The Best Laid Plans
of Mice and Men Are Apt to Go Awry”
Veteran
homeschoolers know, and new
homeschoolers will soon learn, that sometimes “life” interferes with
“school”. It’s two weeks into the
new school year. You’ve been
cruising along on schedule.
Suddenly, the baby gets a cold, you have scheduled your bi-yearly dental
appointments and found five cavities, you agreed to serve on the church's Sunday School Planning Committee, your husband is working major overtime, and everyone
(beginning with you) has developed a crazy, bad, stressed-out attitude.
This
situation, or a very similar one, has presented itself to me many times in the
past thirteen years of homeschooling. So, let's develop a plan of action!
1) Take a deep breath, grab a cup
of tea, and sit down.
Really!! As your fractured
nerves settle you’ll realize that “life happens”. Some upheaval is inevitable. I remember vividly being a newly married young woman and
telling my mother-in-law, “Mom, we JUST got a little money saved and then
something happened and we had to spend it. I feel like we go two steps forward and take one step
back.” She smiled and calmly
replied, “Honey, that’s life.” You
may not LIKE your current situation, but freaking out, being short with the
kids, or curling into a ball will NOT make it better or different. So, BREATHE and prepare to sort out
fact from fiction.
2)
Solomon 2:15 says it is, “the
little foxes that spoil the vineyards,”
When we are stressed, our PERCEPTION of the situation can become
blown out proportion to the actual facts.
It is, generally, not one BIG thing bothering us, but several LITTLE
things. So, grab a piece of paper
to go along with that cup of tea.
Make two columns. List of
your current commitments and what is bothering you on the left hand side. Maybe
you’ve explained long division to your third grader three times and he/she is
still having trouble grasping the concept or your toddler is happy for the
first fifteen minutes of the school day and is very unhappy or demanding for
the next two hours. Perhaps
you have overscheduled your free time for the next couple of weeks.
3)
Look at your list.
Determine which things you have control over and which you cannot
control. Use the right hand side of the paper to brainstorm possible solutions
to each dilemna. If a sick child is causing part of the stress, you don’t have
a lot of control over that. But,
you CAN change your homeschool routine to accommodate that child’s needs. You can rock a child, who needs extra
“Mom time” while reading a great book aloud to the rest of the kids. You can ask older siblings to help the
younger ones stay on task. The fifth
grader can tutor the first grader in math or English. Dad can help in the evenings after supper. Always recognize that family comes
FIRST. If the toddler is unhappy,
maybe he/she needs some more interesting “school only” toys or educational
activities to work on. When my
youngest sons watched the “big boys” do school, what they wanted most was to
feel included. They wanted to “do
school” too. Give them something
to do and then give them lots of praise for a job well done.
4)
Next,
prioritize. You may see that the calendar is over-booked. You can call the head of that church
committee and says, “I’m so sorry.
But, my schedule this week will not allow me to attend that
meeting. But, I would love to have
an e-mail containing notes from the meeting sent to me later this week.” Don’t’ be afraid to prune that
commitment list! Do what you must,
to have time as a family.
Note: reading to them
during school time rarely counts as quality reading time. I have had more than one child say,
“Mom can you read me a book?” I
reply, “I read to you during school time.” “Mom, that’s NOT reading time. That’s school time.”
You are still a mom, not just their primary educator.
5)
I tell new
Homeschooling moms to decide what is necessary, what is optimal, and what is extra. “Necessary” things MUST
be done. We need to eat three
times a day (seven or eight times a day if you are raising teenage boys). We don’t need to eat a five course
gourmet meal. Decide what you can
do to lighten your load with meal preparation. Make frequent use of children to prep food, set the table,
clear the table, and do dishes.
“Optimal” things are still important. In a perfect day, we would get them done. But, some days optimal things may go by
the wayside. And that’s okay! “Extral” things are just that – the
extras. This is a prime area for pruning
when you are overwrought with “life”.
6)
Finally, “this, too, shall pass”. Crazy times rarely last forever and they seem to pass more
quickly when we change our attitude, reorganize our schedule, and prioritize
our time.
